22 June 2009

This past week was an eye opening week for me. I drop a lot of people from my life, without a care in the world. It started back on Monday when I went to cheesecake factory with some of my friends. We got in to a conversation in the car on the way there, about if I was lazy or I just don’t give a fuck about anything. If you know me you will know the answer. We spoke on the subject for the rest of the night, and he learned something new about me. I told him “I’m never the person to look for fame I’m just trying to do what I can to make it work-out for everyone. I’ll be happy with my life with a house on the beach, a computer, my camera, and the ability to travel the world when I feel like it.” Cause, of the crew of friends I have I’m willing work that much harder to make any business ideas work.

When I got home that night I stopped everything I was doing and just started to meditate about my life and the people in it. I found a lot of fake people, not surprising to me cause half of the people I had an idea about from the jump, but I just gave them a chance to show me what I know and they all did at some point of our friendship. The one that stood out more than any was a friend that had me good for a short time in my life. This person showed me what I was looking for in a girlfriend I was on the brink of saying something that I only said to just less than a handful of people in my life and meant it. Then she slipped up once and that was it! She fell off my top 10 list to about top 30. She was still a friend, but at the bottom of my list. She was to going to Europe to meet up with a friend, and then something happened. She missed her flights, everything was still good. She couldn’t talk to her friend, and tell her about what happened. So, she asks me to talk to her because she knows she was going to be mad at the entire thing. I did, I had everything worked out for her. I called her and told her to “just e-mail her and tell her what happened with everything. That is all she wants from you, she knows it was not your fault, she just want to know what happened.” She told me “I will do that thank you, for everything. I Love You!” I spoke to her the other day, and founded out that she still haven’t called her best friend or e-mail her with what happened that day. It been about 3 weeks now, and I was just thinking if she can just drop a best friend like that what will she do to me. So, I just cut myself out of the picture.

After looking at the substandard friends, I had I looked at the good ones. The ones that I would do anything for and I found that I only have just a handful of those. That is a good thing in my eyes because it just going to be easier when we get all of our business ideas in line. Then at the same time I came across someone in my life that I can honestly say I Cheesecake (love) you to and am willing to do anything for. I always had this person in mind, but I never entertained the idea. I’m writing this right now and still trying to not entertain the idea of it all. Then I remember a talk with her at about 3am the other night or morning, then within that two hour conversation I think I said something and really meant or maybe it was before. Then I in middle of that convo I really started to see myself with this person, not just on a sex thing but just me needing this person in my life. Cause in my mind she was second to none. She is one of the few people that I can talk to about anything and I mean anything, I just hope she would ask more question about me. Cause, I would like her to now me fully but I not will to give at info up willingly. She has the power to take my over complex, A.D.H.D mind of mines and make it so easy. I can also say she is the only one that can keep me in line. What will happen between us I don’t know and don’t really care I’m just enjoying the time. I just need to remember everything I am learning from her. Like biggest thing I took for that little heart to heart we had the other night, was to do everything for myself and help who I can on my way up. Everyone needs to find their own path in life. That helped me to see all I need to do is to get everything up and running, then go off and do what I what to do. I guess you can call her Yoko Ono, and I will be john Lennon. I just hope it works out better for me….lol….I guess there is no looking back now.

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